Change is scary. And I have a lot of it right now. Which creates panic within me. Now, I fully understand that worrying and panicking does not help a situation but at the same time, I am really not sure how NOT to panic.
Especially when you aren't in control. I am a planner. I like to know what is going on. I am uncomfortable in situations that I can't fix myself. So that creates MORE panic.
It's not been a fun couple of weeks. This time next week I'll probably be somewhere in Southern California, cat in tow. It's going to be an interesting transition to say the least! Hopefully two weeks, three weeks, four weeks from now I'll have a much better outlook about everything but right now...yeah, change is scary.
Monday, May 21, 2012
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
One fun thing a day
Seeing as how I'm leaving Austin, the city I have called home for nearly 12 years, in a little less than 3 weeks - and my roommate is leaving as well - we decided that we owe it to ourselves to do at least one fun thing a day until we leave. It's funny how when your time in a place is limited, you start planning things you want to do "one last time" - from seeing friends you haven't seen in years to eating a veggie burger at P Terrys (I will miss those). So far I think we have been pretty successful!
But it got me thinking - why should we only do one fun thing a day for the next few weeks? Why not carry this trend indefinitely? "Fun" doesn't have to mean some grand event - it can be as small as watching a movie you have been wanting to see, calling a friend you haven't spoken to in awhile, even taking a walk to enjoy your neighborhood. I think what this "one fun thing a day" mantra does is remind me that every day is precious and should be enjoyed. So often I get caught up in what isn't going right, what school or work related things I need to get done...why I'm not where I thought I would be by now. Allowing myself (or forcing myself) to do something fun can help me refocus on things that really matter - and give me some "stress free" time as well. Maybe if everyone took a step back and took even 10 minutes a day for themselves, this world would be a happier place!
But it got me thinking - why should we only do one fun thing a day for the next few weeks? Why not carry this trend indefinitely? "Fun" doesn't have to mean some grand event - it can be as small as watching a movie you have been wanting to see, calling a friend you haven't spoken to in awhile, even taking a walk to enjoy your neighborhood. I think what this "one fun thing a day" mantra does is remind me that every day is precious and should be enjoyed. So often I get caught up in what isn't going right, what school or work related things I need to get done...why I'm not where I thought I would be by now. Allowing myself (or forcing myself) to do something fun can help me refocus on things that really matter - and give me some "stress free" time as well. Maybe if everyone took a step back and took even 10 minutes a day for themselves, this world would be a happier place!
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Are you happy?
I have this awesome flow chart on my desk that my best friend gave me a few years ago. In in nutshell it asks "Are you happy?". If yes, "keep doing what you're doing". If no, "change something". But what if it's the idea of change that might be making me unhappy?
Change has always scared me, and right now I have a whole lot of that coming up. I am at a point in my life where I could do almost anything. And I have a plan, at least for the next few months, that I am really excited about. And yet I can't help thinking PAST the summer instead of enjoying NOW. I am going to live in one of the most exciting cities in the country. I was offered an internship at a well-respected non-profit working on a project on the built environment and health equity - I should be able to make some good contacts for my dissertation research. I have funding for next year that doesn't require me to be in Austin. Things are good! And yet there is something keeping me from "feeling zen", to use my good friend Jenn's words. I feel internally panicked. I have fought societal norms for so long, yet deep down I want that stability, that comfort, that companionship. I am in a hurry to figure things out, which is ultimately creating unnecessary pressure on me and on my relationships. There has to be a way to step back, enjoy what is now, and let what happens....just happen. Because things always find a way to work themselves out, and worrying...well, it really doesn't change a damn thing.
Maybe I need one of those jars that I put a dollar into whenever I freak out. Actually, I kind of like that idea!
Change has always scared me, and right now I have a whole lot of that coming up. I am at a point in my life where I could do almost anything. And I have a plan, at least for the next few months, that I am really excited about. And yet I can't help thinking PAST the summer instead of enjoying NOW. I am going to live in one of the most exciting cities in the country. I was offered an internship at a well-respected non-profit working on a project on the built environment and health equity - I should be able to make some good contacts for my dissertation research. I have funding for next year that doesn't require me to be in Austin. Things are good! And yet there is something keeping me from "feeling zen", to use my good friend Jenn's words. I feel internally panicked. I have fought societal norms for so long, yet deep down I want that stability, that comfort, that companionship. I am in a hurry to figure things out, which is ultimately creating unnecessary pressure on me and on my relationships. There has to be a way to step back, enjoy what is now, and let what happens....just happen. Because things always find a way to work themselves out, and worrying...well, it really doesn't change a damn thing.
Maybe I need one of those jars that I put a dollar into whenever I freak out. Actually, I kind of like that idea!
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